I watch a lot of tv shows, right now I am on Episode 10 (Season 2) of The Walking Dead and I started watching this show yesterday… I justify this by crocheting and knitting a hell of a lot.
The thing is, I watch tv because most of the time my mind is so crazy busy that I need something to distract me from the painful thoughts. Maybe it makes my mind more busy, perhaps that is the case, but most of the time it helps me to switch off. What helps even more to calm my mind is crochet. When I feel like I can’t do anything and my mind is too overwhelmed to function properly, I crochet.
Some people will get it, some people won’t. I don’t particularly care if you think I am being dramatic. But some people, like me, struggle to calm our thoughts and silence the anxiety. When that struggle becomes too much, I find it hard to do much and I can’t be around people, so I watch a tv show and crochet. The tv shows that are the most far flung from reality help. Reality is tough and scary. So watching a vampire show takes me away.
Crochet also takes me away. A few weeks ago, I crocheted so much I got a repetitive strain injury. I have not known such arm pain in my life, my arm was numb, it was stinging, it was twitching. The pain didn’t scare me, it was the thought of not being able to crochet again that freaked the hell out of me. How would I be able to switch off if I couldn’t crochet? How would I remind myself that I was capable of doing something if I couldn’t crochet?
Crochet reminds me that I can focus on something, that it is possible to calm my mind. I am so grateful for it.
So I will go back to crochet now, but I will leave you with a photo of my Christmas tree until I blog again later (I have decided to try blogging to feel better)